Feeling lonely? 8 things that help
2 min read · 8 steps · Updated 3 October 2026
Tell someone how you feel, a friend, a relative or a doctor. Then take one small step towards other people: join a group or class built around something you like, volunteer, or simply spend time where people are, such as a cafe or a park. Set small targets, and do not measure your life against social media.
Loneliness is common and it is not a personal failing. It often follows a change: moving to a new city or country, a new job, retirement, illness, a separation or a death. You can also feel lonely in the middle of other people. The points below follow the advice of the UK's National Health Service.
This is general information, not medical advice. If you feel low or anxious for more than two weeks, or cannot cope, speak to a doctor.
Step by step
Talk about it
Say it to a friend, a family member, a doctor or a counsellor. Loneliness grows when it is kept secret, and many people answer with relief that they feel the same.
Join something built around an interest
A sports club, a choir, a language class, a walking group, a board game evening. A shared activity gives you something to do and to talk about, which is far easier than making conversation from nothing.
Go where people are
Take your book to a cafe or the library, walk in the park, go to the cinema or the market. Being among people, and a few words with the person at the counter, already lifts the mood.
Volunteer
Helping at a food bank, a sports club, an animal shelter or a neighbourhood project brings regular contact and the feeling of being needed.
Use peer support
Groups of people in the same situation, such as new parents, newcomers to a country or people with the same illness, meet in person and online. Others who have been through it understand quickly.
Do things you enjoy
Go for a walk, exercise, cook, listen to a podcast. Time alone that you fill with something you like feels different from time spent waiting.
Set small targets
Do not try to rebuild a whole social life at once. One message to an old friend this week, one class next week. Small steps you actually take beat a big plan you drop.
Avoid the traps
Do not compare yourself with what others show on social media, which is a selection of their best moments. Do not use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to dull the feeling. Do not dwell on things you cannot change.
Good to know
If you are new in Germany: language courses, integration courses, sports clubs (Vereine), adult education centres (Volkshochschulen) and migrant organisations are the usual places where people meet. See integration course in Germany and your first week in Germany.
See a doctor if you have felt low for more than two weeks, if anxiety is stopping you from meeting people, or if what you tried has not helped. Talking therapy works well for this.
Related: how to build self-confidence, how to stop comparing yourself to others and how to deal with stress.
If you are in immediate danger or thinking of harming yourself, call the emergency number now (112 in the EU). In Germany the Telefonseelsorge is free and open around the clock on 0800 111 0 111.
In short: Tell someone, join a group around an interest, go where people are, volunteer, use peer support, do things you enjoy, set small targets, stay off comparisons and alcohol.
- NHS: Get help with loneliness
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